Engineers invent robot that can build houses, heal the sick, still can’t wash the dishes

Honda's Asimo, also a lazy git
Koichi Yamaguchi, Chief Engineer at little known Pacific rim car manufacturer MingPong, has created a state of the art new robot to rival Honda’s Asimo. The robot can cut through tanks, build houses for the poor, and heal most diseases by placing its hand on the patient’s head. However, it still can’t wash dishes, fold clothes, or clean the bathroom floor.

Yamaguchi has spent the last 10 years working on the prototype. “Every day we add new features.” he said. “Yesterday it learned how to increase the efficiency of solar panels by 5000%. But whatever we do, we can’t seem to get it to wash the dishes without dropping the odd plate.”

Creating a robot that can perform our mundane household chores has been a dream of man for over a hundred years. Just as we appear to be close, complications that humans take for granted get in the way.

Last year, a Lego enthusiast created a robot that could travel through time using a 9V battery. However, the robot kept leaving large chunks of fluff on the floor when doing the vacuuming, so the project was scrapped.